Day 09: Of Emotions and Lessons Learned

I cried.. After so long a time I cried.. It was something I never expected to happen.. I was talking.. Then I choked with tears.. I was sobbing.. Trying to speak as clearly as I can..

It did not end up the way we want it to be.. It was not clarified.. We just accepted that it will never be answered.. That everything will only be an enigma.. That piece of puzzle that will never be found.. So many questions..

I have never felt so much for the people that have been close to me.. Not as much as this.. I was.. Oh.. I get it.. I felt so happy with them that I feared losing them.. That's what I felt at that time.. I was so afraid everything will fall into pieces.. That all this will shatter.. So I cried..

I also cried because it was hard to admit that one weakness I was having.. That people will look at me differently once all is revealed.. That they would turn away.. Avoid me from that point on.. Treat me as a stranger.. Someone they never knew.. Or regret ever knowing.. Pretend we never crossed roads..

I don't know what will happen next.. I prolly won't be like what I was when I started.. I don't know.. Those unanswered questions.. What happened earlier.. Will remain in me.. I thought I was just being friendly.. I thought I was helping.. But people thought I was just trying to get attention.. I was named something not so nice.. Although I would have wished some of them courage to stand up.. Not because they wanted to vindicate someone.. But because they knew that a wrong has been done..

I was a bit disappointed.. But the good thing is that I was able to get a glimpse of truth.. They showed who they are.. I was able to know who amongst them can be a true friend.. That no matter what issues we have, we are able to accept each other fully..

I have to go.. I have a lot I wanted to say but I can't find the words.. Today was a bit heavy.. It hit me bigtime..

Day 08: Sunday

So with the 30 Day Blog Challenge that I was able to get online, there was a 3 day vacation hiatus.. The creator was to go on a trip for those 3 days.. So for 3 days I have to make my own ectry.. And I decided to just talk (err... write) about these 3 days.. I actually started yesterday Day 07: My Saturday

I am looking up tutorials on how to do the 1920's makeup.. I was assigned to do makeup and costume for our performers this coming Sunday.. It's the company's Christmas Party and a contest was made, with the theme of broadway musical.. We decided to perform Cabaret, and since I was asked to do the makeup, I had to get inspiration..

It's my first time to do makeup.. And I have never done it before.. So I hope that they will still end up being my friends after the performance.. Teehee..

I was also told yesterday during my former team's christmas party that I will be singing at the wedding.. Not sure which part of the wedding though.. So I am cramming for songs that I can sing.. I even asked a friend (another former teammate who also left the comapny) if we can sing a duet, which she actually agreed.. Way back we used to sing songs together on freetime.. If there's nothing to do at the office.. We had a collection of lyrics and we sometimes sing with blending voices..

I'm also thinking of what to wear on our christmas party.. Prolly the one I wore last year, I've only worn it once.. And it's a waste if I can't wear it again considering I spent a lot for it..

I already have an idea what to wear for my friend's wedding.. I got an inspiration from one of the websites I often visit.. They have cool designs, unfortunately they don't have bigger sizes so I have to recreate it and have it custom made..

Looking forward to tomorrow.. We will be having some discussions to settle some issues.. Something happened last Friday and it affected some of us bigtime.. I am hoping this gets resolved.. Wish us luck...

Day 07: My Saturday

My weekend was great!! I got to be with my former teammates.. I really missed them so much.. Too bad I was not able to take photos of them..

It was the perfect timing.. I was having some 'stress time' with training, and being with was enough for me to get back and smile on my way back to the battlefield..

The moment I stepped in Jayson's house my friends jumped with joy, it was obvious how much we missed each other.. We shared laughs, talked about things, ate, drank.. It's one of the happiest days in my 2011 life!!! I actually imagined that everything is a dream.. That I didn't actually leave them.. That I'd wake up grunting about Monday, having a smoke before logging in, talking about stuff while processing documents.. But then again.. I don't want to go through the stress again.. Just like the last time we went out, they keep on telling me leaving the company was a good move..

They also told me I've lost weight and asked me if I have any secrets in losing weight.. I actually had none.. And I've been noticing for the past few days that some of my clothes have become loose.. I realized you tend to eat less when you're not stressed, which was proven when one of them came late, I said he looked like he gained weight and he said it was because of stress..

I actually plan to lose weight and I'll start by next year once my family have settled to our new home.. I have to buy gears fit for excercise.. Good thing my new company has a gym.. Wish me luck..

Day 06: Something that excites you and fills you with joy

Well.. Most of you guys will agree..

Payday!!!

I look forward to paydays.. I am happy when I see I have money on my account.. Then I get excited because I get to shop.. And I get happy when I get to buys things I like..

It's the day people look forward to.. Because we will get what we worked hard for.. The money we spent so much time and effort.. Stress and all.. It's the chance we can go out, relax, unwind, and let all the negativity go.. The time when we can treat ourselves, and sometimes those around us.. The time to be happy, time to recharge before we go back to the toxic environment called OFFICE..

I get excited whenever payday is coming because I get to buy foodstuff.. My friends know I cook, and I love to prepare food for them sometimes.. And I feel good if they love my food.. Food at the pantry can get a bit boring at times so it's a "breather" if people get to eat something different..

I also get to buy things for myself.. I get to buy clothes, accessories, beauty products (yes I tend to be vain sometimes), get a haircut, do foodtripping.. It is also the time when I am untouchable.. People can't just shout at me, boss me around and make me do things I don't want to..

This coming payday I plan to treat myself.. I'll go out by myself.. Eat out, prolly try a new resto, and have coffe or tea.. Sit on a comfortable spot.. Take notes and plan for the next days..

How 'bout you? What excites you and makes you happy?

Share your thoughts..

Day 05: Something in life that gives you balance.

What gives me balance?

I don't know.. I can think of a lot of things.. But I guess one of them are my friends.. They keep my from being insane.. Well they're crazy, but in a good way.. I come to work because I always look forward to those times where we laugh our hearts out for simple reasons (or maybe for no reason at all).. We share things, we help each other out.. We save each other from insanity by being crazy.. Weird but yeah.. That's how we are..

At time when I feel I am losing focus, they come to rescue.. I get back on the ground because my friends are my anchors in life.. When I drift away, they make sure that I will come back.. That I won't get carried by the waves of chaos.. I appreciate how they always come to the rescue.. How they always take care of me.. How we listen to each other.. How at times we get each other's thought by merely glancing at each other.. How all of a sudden we do crazy stuff.. They give me a 'temporary high' at times when gloom sets in.. Just enough for me to recharge and be able to fight back the demons of this dark reality..

I have always been a person that loves company.. I can't imagine being alone.. I always need to be around people.. Not necessarily be the center of attraction.. I just need to be there with them..

Day 04: Something that is part of your routine that you enjoy.

Honestly? I enjoy singing in the bathroom.. Who doesn't?

The acoustics are good, and you can sing your heart out! Well, except when Mom's around.. She'll prolly shout out with decibels greater than the sound of a plane launching..

But yeah, it's fun singing while taking a bath.. That's where most people are with the highest of confidence sing.. You become the master of your own show.. You can sing using the dipper, or a brush, whatever you can grab.. Sometimes it becomes a therapy, a stress-reliever, you can release that extra cup of adrenaline in your blood.. Belt it out, sing a Whitney Houston or a Mariah Carey..

Sometimes when I sing, I imagine myself in front of Simon Cowell or Mr. M and see them with both their hands on the sides of their heads watching in awe as I perform with all my might.. Sing my favorite songs.. That's my frustration really, I should try auditioning for a talent search.. But then again...

NAAAHHHHH!!! I let the treasure be buried.. Rather than end up being on the list of worst auditions.. I mean, I know how to sing, but I am not REALLY good at it.. Videokes, yeah.. But sing in front of a huge crowd.. Nah-ah!!! People won't believe but I'm really shy when it comes to displaying "The talented side of me".. I get the jitters, I get out of tone, my knees get weak.. That's the confidence that I am actually working on..

How about you? What part of a routine do you enjoy?

Day 03: Something with which you struggle

Something with which I struggle.. Hmmnnn..

There are a lot of things I am having a struggle with, but I guess I'd say I am having most struggles in making decisions..I want to make sure that once I choose an option, there's no turning back, therefore, I want to make sure I've thought things well, that I get minimal damage if things go bad, that if I choose a path I will have no regrets..

I hate making wrong judgments, so I want o make sure I have a lot of time before I can decide.. Especially if there are people that will be involved in the process.. I don't want to get blamed.. I hate being blamed, I feel down whenever that happens, so as much as possible I want to make sure that I have assessed and anticipated the outcome for each decision that I make..

I am always awed and I look up to, the people who make such good decisions in life.. I mean, however good or bad it turns out, they still end up smiling, people still end up looking up at them.. I want to be that type of person..

Whenever I make decisions, I take my intuition as a sign.. Whenever I am at a point where I need to decide I rely on my intuition if what I will be doing will be a disadvantage or not.. And most of the time ituitions are correct.. I have learned not to doubt the power of intuition.. I have learned to trust my senses.. I have learned to be aware of my environment.. At some point I have learned to make the right decisions..

But for some reason, I still struggle in deciding on matters.. Maybe because at times I get blinded by the possible outcome.. That I decide without thinking things over.. Sometimes I tend to get pressured.. Sometime I just decide just because.. And whenever this happens, I close my eyes, breathe, and try to assess things, try to make the right decision before it's too late.. I go back in trusting my senses.. Call on my intuition.. Strategize.. Then choose...

Day 02: Something you regret not having done last year

Hmmnnn.. 2010 Has basically been all about work.. That's where my life revolved.. Anything that I regret not having done? I should have gone out more.. I wished I got drunk with my friends more.. I should have tried being honest about how I feel with what is happening around me.. I should have relaxed more.. Laughed more.. Smiled more..

I have a lot of things I regret not having done.. The list goes on and on.. Some I may have forgotten.. But I am moving on.. I will be better.. I feel, I know, that I have changed and I have changed bigtime.. I am stronger..

I have learned now not to have any regrets in life.. Whatever is in the present is a result of decisions that I have made in the past.. And I decided that whatever I choose, I choose at will, and I will not look back and regret it..

I rarely encounter this question.. So it's hard for me to think of an answer.. And as I have mentioned, I am living a life that I would not want to be full of regrets.. I would rather have a life that resulted from a lifetime's worth of learnings, a life lived with a lot of knowledge and inspiration, of happiness.. It may be hard to achieve, but heck, life ain't easy..

I still have a lot to prove, I am still young, I still have a lot of decisions to make, but whatever my choices are, I will hold on to it with no regrets.. Regret is such a feeling that weighs you down, consumes you, makes you blame circumstances and make excuses, and I am not the type to do that..

Day 01: Something you're looking forward to this year

On day 1 of my 30 Day Writing Challenge, it asks to discuss about something that you are looking forward to this year..

Basically it's almost year-end but to answer the question, I am excited about our Christmas Party.. My co-trainees decided that we have our Christmas Party this coming 23rd, and we will have an outing this 16th.. This means that I'll have more opportunities in getting to know them better.. I've had a lot of good times with them already.. But just like some things.. They can be addicting to be with.. And I love listening to their conversations.. Not because I love rumors.. Believe me.. They can be sensible at times.. And I learn from what comes out of their mouth..

I look forward to the end of this year.. Look back and contemplate.. Think of all that had happened to me for the year.. And learn from all the experiences.. Appreciate the good things that happened.. Thank all the people that had been part of my life.. And hope that they stay and be with me through the coming years..

Look forward to set new goals.. And I am determined to make them happen no matter what.. I no longer want to look for the circumstance that I want.. I WILL MAKE THEM!!!

New 30 Day Blog Challenge

So I was looking for a new set of list that I may prefer to follow since the first one was a bit too boring.. I found a site (http://danacreative.blogspot.com/2011/01/30-day-writing-challenge.html) and the challenge actually tickled my fancy.. And to add, it had a parameter for the challenge.. I need to make a blog of at least 250 words and max 1000 words.. Which may be more if you are inspired.. So wish me luck.. :)

Cheers!!!

Day 01: Something you're looking forward to this year.

Day 02: Something you regret not having done last year.

Day 03: Something with which you struggle.

Day 04: Something that is part of your routine that you enjoy.

Day 05: Something in life that gives you balance.

Day 06: Something that excites you and fills you with joy.

Day 07: Vacation Hiatus

Day 08: Vacation Hiatus

Day 09: Vacation Hiatus

Day 10: Something at which you've been a champion or the best.

Day 11: Something about which people seem to compliment you.

Day 12: Something you hope to change about yourself and why.

Day 13: Discuss some of the things on your bucket list.

Day 14: Someone who has made your life worth living.

Day 15: A band/musical artist whose music impacted your life.

Day 16: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 17: Someone with whom you shared a friendship/relationship that simply drifted out of your life.

Day 18: Someone you met randomly that's made an impact on your life.

Day 19: Something that shook your belief system to its core (a big disappointment in your life).

Day 20: Discuss your favorite movie and why it's so special to you.

Day 21: Write about your best friend (not significant other) and what makes them special.

Day 22: Describe a dark/turbulent moment in your life.

Day 23: Describe a truly spiritual moment in your life.

Day 24: Discuss a spontaneous moment in your life that that turned out to be fantastic.

Day 25: Discuss something you planned that ended up not being what you expected.

Day 26: How do you handle/deal with both success and failure?

Day 27: What is your vocation (why are you here on earth)?

Day 28: What is your biggest dream in life (what one great thing do you want to accomplish)?

Day 29: What WAS your biggest dream in life (you wanted to do as a kid but no longer can)?

Day 30: Someone in your family that means so much to you.

Day 31: Epilogue: Write a letter to yourself.

Reset..

I noticed that the 30 Day Challenge that I got is a bit boring so I'll find another one.. Something that will really wake up the writer in me and make my blog more interesting..

Wish me luck..

30 Day Blog Challenge Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy

Why?

Kasi ngayon sila yung nagtutuloy ng tawa ko kahit pag-uwi.. We wait for each other to be online.. Tapos basagan kame sa FB chat.. Kakatawa nga e.. Tapos natatapos na kame mga 4am.. Tska ansaya kasi parepareho kame ng humor.. So walang "Uhhh.. Ok..." moments.. Gets agad namen.. Tska parepareho kameng pakshet magusapusap pero pag may something like problema, seryoso.. Kaya lab ko tong mga to eh..

30 Day Blog Challenge Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy

Whatever thickles my fancy daw oh!!!

Well.. I am sooooo not in the mood to think of anything that interests me right now.. Prolly I'll just tell how life at work is going right now..

Things have been turning out well.. Daming nadagdag sa friendlist ko.. I mean lumaki ang circle of friends ko.. Masaya ako kasi marami akong kaibigan.. Although di maiiwasan.. Naaayos naman ag mga petty issues.. Some are very much ignorable..

I still try to maintain my reputation of being the jester.. From experience I know that during training some of us may feel that our enthusiasm is dwindling.. I feel I have a responsibility of keeping my friends happy..

Eto tutuparin ko na talaga yung plano ko.. Mag-iipon ako ng baking equipment.. Gusto ko nang magpractice ulet.. Pinipilit na nila akong magbenta.. Bakit pa kasi ako nagdala ng cheesecake.. Haha..

Sana marami pang saya..

30 Day Blog Challenge Day 05 — Your favorite quote

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."
A quote from George Bernard Shaw

I consider this to be my mantra.. A source of thought and power.. Of inspiration and drive for improvement.. A truism.. Something that, for me, is a riddle that cannot be answered by words.. It has to be discovered..

People have different goals in life.. And to achieve it, they will have to find the environment suitable for them to make it happen.. If they can't find the means in the immediate environment, they have to find a way for them to be able to reach it.. Say you are hungry.. To be able to satisfy your hunger you need to eat.. If there are no cooked food in the dining room, you need to cook so you can eat, and therefore satisfy the hunger that you feel.

People have different mantras in life.. Some call it motto.. Some, just a simple word or phrase of empowerment.. Whatever that is, it is something that helps us keep inspiration, a source of motivation,, If all else fails...

Update on the 30 Day Blog Challenge

Now I realized that with this 30 Day Blog Challenge it has become more of like a Q&A where it's just like that.. Q&A.. I dunno why but for some reason when I try to describe whatever is the theme for the day, I run out of words.. So tomorrow I will try say (errr.. Write?) more of whatever the topic is for tomorrow.. Wish me luck..

30 Day Blog Challenge Day 04 — Your favorite book

So what's my favorite book? I guess it's Bob Ong's "ABNKKBSNPLAko?!".. Of all his books this is the one that I can relate most.. From childhood days to schooling.. Almost everyone can relate to what he has gone thru.. I love how when I read this book I get to travel in the past.. Reminds me of those "Oh I guess this is what I want to change if given the opprotunity" times..

Frustrations

It's difficult when you aspire to be better in life yet the people you would expect to support you does not even have an inch of concern or support for you.. Worse, they pull you down either on purpose or not.. And when you talk to them about it, they blame you constantly.. Frustrating.. Really..

I am at the brink of a breakdown.. It's like I want to shout.. Just shout.. I don't know how long or howmuch I can still hold myself together.. But I feel they are starting to win on pulling me down to the abyss of failure.. I need help..

30 Day Blog Challenge Day 03 — Your favorite television program

With all the tv series that had been in trend starting 2000.. My all time favorite is the Charmed Series.. I guess that was like the only one that hit my interest at the time.. I have always looked forward to every episode.. I loved the Haliwell sisters and at one time imagine being one of them.. I still do..

If you'd be one of them who would you be?

The Backstabbing Game and Drinking Spree with My Wavemates

So on the last day of our ACE training we had an activity where we had to pick one person from the group, pretend to be the person and get "first impressions" from everyone. We will have the name written on a paper and placed on our back with adhesive tape and go around the room so people can write their first impression on it. When I got mine I read what was on my paper and it made me happy.. Here's what they wrote:

- friendly
- funny
- bubbly
- lovely
- cute
- sensible
- perky
- huggable
- teddy bear
- smart bitch (haha!!)
- Baby J (?)
- pretty (namern!!)
- yummy (...)

I laughed at the last two descriptions.. Even the one that said smart bitch.. Haha..

Then after the class we went out to have a drink at Gerardo's.. We got to know each other deeper and it made me feel more comfortable with them.. We really are like a rainbow.. Though different we still make a beautiful set of people inside out..

I guess this is what makes working in a call center fun.. You get to know a lot of people.. People with different personalities and from different walks of life.. I get to learn from them.. And I get to share things with them..

30 Day Blog Challenge Day 02 — Your favorite movie

Ok.. So I'm on day 2 (whew..)

My Favorite movie? just like on Day 1.. I don't have an all time favorite movie but I like The Devil Wears Prada.. I love the fashion.. Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep looked stunning.. Even Emily Blunt.. I love the runway..The smokey eyes.. The apparel.. Ganda lahat!!!

30 Day Blog Challenge Day 01 — Your favorite song

Hmmnnn.. So I decided to start the challenge today before I leave for work..

So what's my favorite song? I don't have an all-time favorite song, but I have a couple of songs that I often listen to.. And one of them is Sugababe's "Ugly".. I like this song because it is somewhat empowering.. And you can listen to it at time when your spirits are low or if your morale is down or if someone is stepping down at you.. The lyrics go like this:

When I was 7
They said I was strange
I noticed that my eyes and hair weren't the same
I asked my parents if I was OK
They said you're more beautiful
And that's the way they show that they wish
That they had your smile
So my confidence was up for a while
I got real comfortable with my own style
I knew that they were only jealous cos

People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you

There was a time when I felt like I cared
That I was shorter than everyone there
People made me feel like life was unfair
And I did things that made me ashamed
Cos I didn't know my body would change
I grew taller than them in more ways
But there will always be the one who will say
Something bad to make them feel great

People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you

People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you

Everybody talks bad about somebody
And never realises how it affects somebody
And you bet it won't be forgotten
Envy is the only thing it could be

Cos people are all the same
(The same, the same)
And we only get judged by what we do
(What we do, yeah, yeah)
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
(Yeah, you)
So are you
So are you

People are all the same
(Oh, oh, oh)
And we only get judged by what we do
(What we do, yeah)
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
(Yeah, so are you)
So are you
So are you

30 Day Blog Challenge

I was having an online chat with some friends and we found out we have common interests: Blogging.

One of them told me about the 30 Day Blog Challenge.. I got interested so I researched about it.. Basically all you need to do is to post topics for 30 consecutive days.. The topics are up to you.. And since I am not good in thinking much regarding topics.. I tried to look for some.. And for now I will start with this list..

The 30 day blog challenge.

Day 01 — Your favorite song
Day 02 — Your favorite movie
Day 03 — Your favorite television program
Day 04 — Your favorite book
Day 05 — Your favorite quote
Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 — A photo you took
Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 — A fictional book
Day 14 — A non-fictional book
Day 15 — A fanfic
Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 — A talent of yours
Day 20 — A hobby of yours
Day 21 — A recipe
Day 22 — A website
Day 23 — A YouTube video
Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 — Your day, in great detail
Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
Day 27 — This month, in great detail
Day 28 — This year, in great detail
Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy

Prolly I will look for other 30 Day Blog Challenge list.. Or if I get lucky I'll make one myself.. So wish me luck!!! Timer starts.. Tomorrow!!! Haha!!!

Training: Day 1

So I am now working with a new company, And we started day 1.. Well, it's technically day 3 but the first 2 days are just for orientation..

The first 2 days gave me a chance to assess the people that I will be with for 2 months.. As I have said sa isa sa mga FB status message ko: A good mix of people.. This is going to be fun!!!

And fun they indeed are..

Well akala ko di ako mashado magkakafriends.. Kasi dun palang sa first 2 days e may kanya kanya nang grupo.. And being the congenial person that I am, gusto ko makilala at maging friends lahat.. Kaso yun nga.. Tapos yung isa sa mga una kong nakilala e mejo may pagka possessive and she prefers being with a few number of friends.. Then opportunity came..

The trainer asked us to fill in the empty seats on some of the rows.. May isa sa harap.. Lipat agad ako.. Not because I wanted to avoid my new friend.. She's fun, but it gave me an opportunity na makihalubilo sa iba pang wavemates.. And I wanted to sit in front para mas maabsorb ko yung info at makapagpabibo ng konti..

E malas.. I was caught speaking in the vernacular.. towards the end of the day we were asked to pick a consequence from the list.. Gahd!!! Ang hirap!!! Merong pakakantahin ka ng favorite song mo habang nakalabas ang dila.. Meron sing and dance ng isa sa mga kanta ni Britney Spears (ugh!!!).. I chose the easier and less embarassing one..

I was made to tell my most embarassing moment.. Kaso wala akong maalalang moment.. Owkamown.. Sinong may gustong alalahanin ang isang bahagi ng kanyang buhay na dapat ay ibinabaon sa limot?!

So I just told my experience of that great flood in España, when I had to fight against the current (oo sobrang umaalon noon sa España!!) and we got chased by a floating DEAD DOG!!! It was a hit!!! My friends actually laughed!!! Instant celebrity!!! Haha!!! They even told me na napakavivid ko magkwento.. As if it is happening at that very moment..

Hay.. Sana maging kaclose ko pa sila..

I'm looking forward to more laughs with them!!!

Being Good at Something

I remember a colleague saying na pag marami kang alam na gawin or if marami kang talent, you won't excel in any of those.. I realized that somehow she is right.. So I was trying to make an inventory of my talents and hobbies..

I thought.. I'm good at these because I like doing it.. And I am having fun while doing it.. And I refuse to go professional because I think that if I use it to make a living.. Mawawala yung fun dun.. And I experienced it when I tried to cook for a living.. Na-stress ako.. Yeah I earn.. But the fun was not there..

And I realize.. Kaya siguro ako nandito ngayon.. Talking to people, in person or over the phone, was never my cup of tea.. Analyzing and thinking over ample amount of time was never on my list..

So.. Gameplan? I don't plan on making it a hobby.. Well I mean taking in calls and be the one to absorb the negativity from customers.. But I plan on making myself better!!! So.. I won't make it a hobby but I will have the skills be a natural part of me.. Wish me luck!!!

Some shots

ayun habang nagkakalkal naman ako sa pc at mga online accounts ko nakita ko itong mga pics.. na kuha sa camera ko.. with a little retouch..

etong last picture ang favorite ko kasi may movement.. parang ang dynamic ng picture.. may buhay

My Sketches from Way Back

I was rummaging through my stuff when I found my old sketches..







watchutink?

Si Mommy Les

"People are always blaming circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them."

an all time favorite quote.. I have always considered this to be one of the strongest mantras I have ever read.. I have been in continuous search for the learning and application of this passage to fully understand what it truly meant.. And just this week I found an example..

Leslie Macapas.. Or Mommy Les as we call her.. Had decided to leave the company.. She got a pretty good deal with another company and had made her decision to push thru.. She filed her resignetion but our boss did not accept it.. But she did not give up.. She spoke with our boss again and held firmly on her decision to leave.. Our boss had no choice.. She finally let Mommy Les file her resignation..

This is just one example on how people find ways to achieve their goal.. If the environment is not conjusive or helpful in fulfilling one's purpose, man should look for the perfect mix, and if he cannot find it, then he should concoct his own recipe towards success, otherwise, he will remain stagnant, stationary, non-progressing..

Mommy Les did not find the circumstance that she wanted in the company, so she searched, and found it.. And I wish her success in her new journey..

Of Emotions and Growing Up

I have just realized that the more I grow older the more emotional I become..

I remember when my sister graduated, as I see her walking, I felt na parang may kumurot sa puso ko, I was trying to hide my tears, I was proud of her.. It happened again nung oathtaking nila.. I don't know if it was the background music.. Pero ayun, nangilig na naman ang luha ko ang nanikip ang lalamunan..

Nung birthday ko nagtext yung kapatid ko.. I was so touched na habang nagko-calls ako e basag basag yung boses ko kasi pinipigilan ko ang humikbi..

Tapos nung napanuod ko yung No Other Woman, sobrang naramdaman ko yung acting ni Cristine Reyes, lalo na yung pagkatapos nung confrontation nila ni Anne sa may pool, after nila mag-away ni Derek it was as if gusto kong puntahan sha tapos damayan nung mga panahong yon..

Yung mga madramang posts sa FB and Youtube pag nakikita, nababasa't napapanood ko di ko mapigilan ang maluha..

Ganun ba talaga pag tumatanda? Nagiging emosyonal sa mga bagay-bagay?

When they're asking you to do something that you don't want to do

so eto nga.. nagkaroon ng pakulo ang office na gumawa ng talent show na parang America's Got Talent.. Each team was asked to have a representative.. Eto yung problema.. Wala kaming volunteer..

Nabanggit yung pangalan ko.. At umayaw ako.. At ilang araw nila akong pinipilit.. At ilang beses din ako umayaw..

I mean..  GAANO BA KAHIRAP INTINDIHIN YUNG AYOKONG SUMALI SA CONTEST NA YUN? Hindi ko naman pinagyayabang na may talent ako.. Oo marunong ako kumanta, oo may alam ako sa pagluluto, pero ginagawa ko yun because it's something that makes me happy at hindi ko yon ginagawa para magpasikat, sumipsip o magyabang.. MAHIRAP BA INTINDIHIN YON?

Isa pa, ako ang isasali e hindi ko nga alam kung aabot pa ako sa trabaho next week, dahil for some twisted reason, ang boss namen e nagpapa end of contract pag natripan nya.. I am already reviewing my options..

Ang nakakaasar pa dito, nasa bahay na lang ako, may mga nagtetext pa, worse, hindi na nila ako tinatanong kung gusto kong sumali, inuutusan na nila ako na magready ng ipepresent ko, gawd.. Hindi ko ikayayaman ito, hindi ko ikapo-promote, so sana tigilan na nila ako..

I felt disappointed kasi naconsume ko yung weekend ko thinking of how I can make my teammates understand na ayokong sumali.. I thought of making a bargain, na ang motive e makaganti dun sa nagtext sakin na inutusan ako magprepare ng number.. But I realized na hindi ko dapat ibaba yung sarili ko dahil lang dun.. Na ayokong gumanti dahil hindi nakakabuti yun..

Disappointed din ako dahil hindi naman ako basta basta bumibigay sa ganitong sitwasyon.. Kaso it brought a lot of stress to a point na I feel that I will be dragging my feet to work.. Dahil pagpasok ko pipilitin na naman nila ako..

Hay..

Ansaveeeh?!

Well.. Wala talaga akong maisip na title para sa post na ito.. Being said, wala rin akong maisip na specific na topic.. Started first day of the week.. Nakaisip ng topic, kaso di nakapagblog.. Hangang sa sunud sunod na yung mga ideas at ngayon jambol jambol na lang.. So I'll type anything and move to the next topic as I go..

Kinausap ako ng TM ko about our plans to leave the company.. Ako at ang mga kabatch ko sa team.. Apparently one became the spoiler so during my coaching session I was asked about it..

Well I was honest.. sinabi ko naman na mukhang wala akong plans na magtagal.. Pero hindi ko pa nakikita ang sarili kong umalis in the near future.. Hindi ko pa kayang pakawalan yung convenience ng oras ko at yung lapit ng trabaho sa tinitirhan ko.. At sabi ko nga, hangga't kaya ko pang ngumiti e mananatili ako.. Pero just in case, nakahanda na ang magandang papel na gagamitin ko sa susunod na kompanyang pagtatrabahuhan ko.. Wala akong iba pang nasabi kundi "TM masaya pa ako e.. At hangga't masaya ako hindi ako aalis"

Ayun..

Tapos kanina nakapagpagupit nako.. Almost close dun sa gupit na gusto ko.. Di lang naging exavt kasi naging impatient ako.. I could have grown my hair a bit longer pero di ko na kaya.. Di nako kumportable sa buhok ko.. Hehe.. Anyways.. Narealize ko na wala sa presyo ng gupit kung gaano ito magiging kaganda.. Nasa skill ito ng gumugupit..

Ngayon ko lang nabasa yung email tungkol sa love story nung magjowang bading na mga bata.. It was so tragic.. Dahil bata pa sila they were so passionate about it.. Now my concern goes to that 3rd party kid.. Sha yung nabuhay.. Dadalhin nya yun.. Nakatatak na sa kanya.. Written all over his face.. Na sya ang dahilan kaya namatay yung magjowa.. Anu magiging tingin sa kanya ng mga tao sa paligid nya? Did he learn from that? Ito yung mga bagay na hindi mo pwedeng sabihing "well, charge it to experience' kasi hindi lang sha ang involved at hindi basta basta ang nangyari.. Buhay ang naging kapalit ng pagiging 3rd party nya.. Kakarmahin din ba sha?

Bumili nako ng magandang notebook.. I need to start taking notes again.. And for me to want to take down notes, dapat maganda yung susulatan ko..

Bumili din ako ng mga libro.. I need to start reading again..

Andami ko nang nasabi.. Ayan malapit na naman umatake ang writer's block..

Balik vlogging na naman ako.. Kakaupload ko lang sa youtube..

The day that was September 20

September 20..

Ang aking birthday..

Wala akong gustong sabihin kundi SALAMAT SA DIYOS SA LAHAT LAHAT

Kung may ipagpapasalamat man ako.. E yung mga taong naging bahagi ng buhay ko sa nakaraang taon.. Sa lahat ng tawa, lungkot, galit.. Lahat.. SALAMAT..

Lord salamat sa pagpaparamdam sakin nung araw na yon.. SALAMAT.. Hindi ako makapaniwala na kinausap mo ko nung araw na yon..

Sa mga bumati, SALAMAT

Looking back, masasabi kong marami nang nagbago sakin.. At sa ngayon marami pa akong gustong baguhin.. Hindi dahil sa gusto kong maging "IN" pero sabihin na nating dahil sa insatiable human hunger for a better persona.. Nais kong magbago para sa ikabubuti ko at ng mga tao sa paligid ko..

Dahil jan, ang dasal ko ay LORD, WAG MO KONG PABABAYAAN,  TULUNGAN MO AKO SA AKING ADHIKAIN, AT SANA SA LAKABAYIN KO E NANJAN PARIN ANG MGA TAONG MALAPIT SAKIN PARA AKBAYIN AT AKAYIN AKO HABANG PATUNGO SA BUHAY..

When you do not post topics on time..

Ayan.. The past few days I have been overcome by procrastination that when all the ideas piled up hindi ko na alam kung panu ko gagawin yung blog entry ko.. It started with one idea.. Then procrastination (sige mamya ko na gagawin yung blog pagkagising ko.. Ay shet late nako.. Sige bukas na lang pagkauwi ko.. Repeat till fade..).. Then idea pa.. Thne procrastination.. Pulit-ulit.. Hanggang "Shet anu ba uunahin ko? Panu ko ba sisimulan? Puta.."

Kakainis..

A Perfect Example of the FISH Philosophy

Habang nag-iisip ako kung paano ko sisimulan ang pag-aaral at pagsasabuhay ng FISH Philosophy.. I came across this video.. And I realized na ito ang isang napakagandang example ng pilosopiyang nabanggit..

The FISH Philosophy is comprised of 4 thinkings: Play, Be There, Make Their Day, at Choose Your Attitude.

Philip used to be a Sou Chef at one of the prestigious hotels in the States. But due to an unfortunate event, he was kicked out of the job. Rather than stay at home, sulking and finding reasons to blame the world for his misfortune, he went back on his feet and continued on with his life.

Nagtayo sya ng business, a food truck where he sells meatballs. He named it Meatyballs. He gave his "balls" names that made people laugh.

While attending to his business, he is playing by calling people to buy his "balls" and making those funny gestures. He makes sure that he attends to his customers by asking what they like, offering what else they want, and by the funny food names and gestures that he makes, his customers walk away smiling, if not laughing their ass out.

I f you still have not understood how I was able to relate this to the philisophy, here:
He chose to face life with determination and was able to control the circumstances (CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE)
He attends to his customers, not merely telling them what they should buy or eat (BE THERE)
He makes his customers happy with the names of the items he sells, makes them laugh with his comments, and makes them remember him because of that (MAKE THEIR DAY)
He smiles, makes fun of the food he sells and jokes around while his customers are eating (PLAY)

We sometimes do these things without us being aware of it, I know that at one point, you've done this but you won't be able to recall vividly kasi this is not something that you do while being aware of your actions. But once you are aware of this and you hone those talents that you have that is needed for this, I bet sureball na ang pagiging kilala mo sa kumpanya.

Now my dilemma? I need to apply this to MY workplace. Making your customer's day and being there will be a challenge. For one, hindi ko kausap si customer face to face, and due to the language barrier it will b a challenge to communicate things to them. Madali lang yung play and choosing the attitude, kasi ako lang ang involved dun. Pero yung dalawa pa, it will be controlled by the other side of the spectrum.

I will update you guys on the progress. Hopefully maganda ang kalalabasan..

.. Ay mali.. Maganda talaga kalalabasan nito.. Hehe..

Di ba nga.. CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE?! :D

Ang Banyo at ang mga Realizations sa Buhay

"Most of life's realizations happen inside the bathroom"

Pansin nyo ba? Pag naliligo, nagde-DEFECATE (fine Jonel.. Ikaw na ang nagpost ng literal na BIG WORD!) o kung anu pa man ang ginagawa sa banyo, may mga bagay kang naiisip at napapagtanto na di mo karaniwang napapansin..

Kanina habang nasa banyo ako at dumudumi.. Bigla kong naisip.. At related to sa previous post ko.. May mga bahagi yung FISH Philosophy at 7 Habits of Highly Effective People na magkapareho.. Pero magkaiba lang ng paliwanag..

Sa parehong instructionals itinuturo kung paano ka magiging epektibong tao.. Both would make use of the workplace as an example but you will come to realize na hindi lang sa workplace applicable eto.. I'll try to make it more understandable kasi starting tonight I will study these intructionals and practice it..

Wish me luck.. I hope I'll be successful..

I'll keep you guys posted..

Ang Ulan at ang mga Desisyon sa Buhay

Haaaayyyy ulan.. Di ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako dahil malamig ang panahon.. Presko at hindi ako pinapawisan.. O maiinis dahil nababasa ang suto ko at ang hirap sumakay papunta ng work at pauwi ng bahay..

Ayus.. Sa lahat ng bagay.. Sa lahat ng nangyayari sa buhay ng tao may maganda at di magandang mga pangyayari.. Nasa sa tao na kung paano nya haharapin ang mga bagay bagay,,

"Choose Your Attitude"

Ang sabi sa isang video na pinanuod samin ng trainer namin sa huling araw ng training namen.. Each day that you wake up, it's up to you on how you would like to start it.. You choose how you act the whole day.. You wake up to find na naubos na ang toothpaste, it's up to you if you will whine and be grumpy all day or go ahead and brush your teeth with just the toothbrush.. You hold the decision of whether you will frown at each call you get or smile and be excited on who you will help next..

Think about it.. Most of those 'Instructionals' include YOU making the CHOICE on how you will run your life.. Why? Because it's true.. If you setup yourself for failure then you will fail.. If you have a better outlook in life and you choose to be happy and make your environment happy then all positivity will surrond you..

You get a small pay.. Will you whine and complain or be happy that you will have something to spend and get you through the next days? Ikaw na bahala.. Nasa sa iyo na yan..

Inaantok nako at tinatamad nako ituloy toh.. Pero sana naintindihan nyo yung gusto kong i-convey (Wow!!! Big Word!!)..

So bago ako matulog.. I decided..

Magiging masaya ako na umuulan.. Malamig.. Nakakarelax.. At higit sa lahat.. Bawas sa trabaho ng pagdidilig..

The Day I Stood Up for My Friends

"Thank you for standing up for us.."

Sabi ng wavemate ko..

We were having a meeting.. Yung TM namin was expressing his disappointment dahil hindi kami pumasa sa knowledge check..

"I thought you understood our discussion earlier.. Why didn't we get passing scores on this second knowledge check? I told you guys that if you do not understand something just tell me so I can discuss it.."

At that point my hands were already shaking.. Not out of anger.. But my body is telling me that I need to speak up or I will forever hold my peace..

"I need to say something.. I know.. And I trust that my teammates did understand the discussion earlier.. But if you look at it.. The test we took today are different from the one we took earlier.. If you guys gave us the exact same tests, I am pretty sure, I am confident, that all of us will pass, and you will also have to take into consideration that this is our first day and we will not get all types of calls in just 8 hours"

It was the first time.. The first time that I stood up for my friends.. I have defended some friends in the past.. But this one was really different.. I felt it was my responsibility to stand up and make them hear my voice.. Earn the respect that I am worthy of..

I sat down.. And realized that I have indeed changed.. If it was the Jonel 'before' that was put in this situation, malamang tumahimik na lang ako at hinayaang manginig ang buong katawan ko at idaan na lang sa sandamakmak na reklamo paglabas ng opisina..

I am proud of what I did.. Naisip ko kung gaano na kalaki ang ipinagbago ko.. Iba ang confidence ko ngayon kesa dati.. Iba na ang outlook ko..

Ngayon isa lang ang masasabi ko.. Konti na lang.. Ready na ko..

Bagay Ba Sa'Kin tong Style ng Buhok?

Pinagiisipan ko pa kung gusto kong magpagupit ng ganito.. Bagay ba sakin?

I still have a day to decide..

Nagtanong ako sa facebook..

Madami naman nagsabing bagay daw..

Ano go na ba ako? Hehe..

Pinoy Slang (Funny)

BABALA: Ilan sa mga salita dito ay nakakadiri.. Ewww kaderder!!! Haha!!!

Enjoy!

Baskeps    
(bus-kepps)
1 adjective. A phenomenon that happens to women when they are aroused.  
“Nag beach kami kahapon ni Erik, nagtanggal sya ng t-shirt tapos nakita ko ung katawan nya. Hay nakupo! Baskeps ang lola mo teh!”

Borgege    
(ber-ghe-ghe)
1 noun. Libag sa ilalim ng suso  
lagi nyang kinakamot ang ilalim ng suso nya dahil may borgege..

Pulandet    
(poo-land-death)
1 verb. to squirt
si motong ay pumupulandet..,hehe

Hohol
(ho-hol)
1 noun. Hang-out hang-out lang.
Wala, HOHOL lang kami kagabi.

Bunal
(boonal)
1 noun. buhok sa nunal

Belyas
(bel-yas)
1 verb. pretty girl
nakakita ako ng belyas sa kapitbahay

Weneklek
n. Nipple hair.
Buhok sa utong.
"Damn, look at that weneklek!!!"
"Pare, nakakagago yang weneklek mo ah. Parang rambutan."

Asoge
underarm hair

Kachichas
very offensive foot odor

Kabudel
1 n. nasal dirt; booger

Kabulujug
1 verb. sex; to have sex with someone

Vurere
1 n. malapot na tae na madalas ay kulay green

Vini
(vini)
1 adjective. defined as sexy, hot, good looking
grbe ang vini mo ngyun ah

Ong Mohol Nomon!!!!

Gusto ko manuod kaso ang mahal ng ticket!!!

Ayoko ng General Admission dahil hindi ko gusto malaman kung anu itsura ni Kylie on a microscopic sense!!!

Huhu.. Ilibre nyo nga ako!!! Once in a lifetime lang toh..

Practice Shots

eto mga test shots ko.. Dahil napilit ako ng isang kaibigan na bumalik sa pag-shoot.. I'm not into professional photography.. Pero nakakasiya kasi pag maganda yung naging kuha mo.. Lalo't konting edit lang ang kailangan..

Cover Song: Home

Babala: Kung tatawanan nyo lang e WAG NYO NA PANUORIN.. Hehe

Tulad nga ng sinabi ko.. Di ako magaling kumanta.. Pero mahilig ako kumanta..

This one was requested by a friend..

Unang Post: Sino ka?

Sino ka?

Dahil unang post ko ito.. At wala akong topic na maisip para sa una kong post.. Magpapakilala na lang ako:

• Ang pangalan ko ay John Noel Nullar Villanueva
• palayaw ko ay Jonel
• 25 years old
• kasalukuyang nagtatrabaho sa isang call center
• mahilig magluto
• mahilig kumain
• mahilig mag-sketch
• nagpi-picture minsan (try ko magpost ng photos pag may oras)
• mahilig makipagkaibigan
• SINGLE
• masayahin
• I always try to maintain a positive outlook kahit mejo challenging ang paligid (madaming depressed at pessismist na feeling wala nang pag-asa sa buhay)
• mahilig sa music
• mahilig kumanta kahit di kagandahan ang boses (minsan try ko rin magpost ng mga cover songs pero wag nyong pagtatawanan ha)
• hindi ako expressive na tao
• mas gusto ko magtext kesa makipag-usap sa telepono
• nagyoyosi
• umiinom
• ayoko pumunta sa mga mataong lugar.. ayoko sa bar na maingay.. ayoko sa mall na may sale..
• pag lumalabas kasama ang mga kaibigan mas gusto ko pa na magkape na lang (o kaya tsaa) at magkwentuhan ng kung anuanong bagay
• kung iinom kasama ang mga kaibigan mas gusto kong sa bahay na lang ng kaibigan kesa sa bar na matao at mahal ang alak
• galit ako sa mga taong obnoxious, pessimist, whiner, mga taong may superiority complex, nuknukan ng yabang, at walang respeto
• mukha daw akong masungit, pero sa totoo lang sweet akong tao bukod sa masayahin at palabiro
• hopeless romantic
• I love cuddling
• kung wala kang gusto sakin wag mong hahawakan ang kamay ko..
• kung gusto mo ako.. hawakan mo ang kamay ko..
• I love giving ang getting hugs..

Andami ko nang nasabi.. naubusan tuloy ako.. Di bale makikilala nyo pa ko sa mga susunod kong blogs..

But for now.. CIAO!!!