Really Now?!

Whaddya think?

I've been to relationships here and there.. But I never kept this list the whole time.. Sometimes when I am in deep shit that's when online posts like this would appear.. That's when I remember and realize I had forgotten how relationships work..

It's hard to think of these things.. Let alone practice it.. Especially when you are at a moment when your judgment is clouded with anger, mistrust, etc. And when shit happens, it happens at a moment you wouldn't really anticipate.. And.. Like a broken mirror, crumpled paper, <insert any item than gets broken but can still be fixed>, you can fix it, but it will never be the same.. It's up to you if you will still use it, or decide to create a better one..

I can give good advice, but when I am caught in a situation.. Hell I'm the dumbest and most vulnerable person in love that you'll meet.. Pffttt... I'd definitely need friends to keep me sane..

I've never been lucky when it comes to relationships.. Never been able to handle one properly.. I dunno.. I guess I'm too preoccupied with things.. That I never learned how this should go.. When they say everyone becomes the dumbest person alive when it comes to love, I'd have a hard time believing it.. I have friends that have stayed together since the beginning of time.. And I wonder how they make it work..

How do they make it work? Tell me..

Occurences..

Hello..

It's been a very, very, VERY long time since I last posted here.. A lot had happened.. A lot has changed..


I left the company I was working with when I started this blog.. You guys know that I live in a rural place (LOL) and never did I anticipated the risks when leaving home at so late a time.. I almost got robbed, mugged, harassed.. Name it.. I ALMOST went through it..


So..


I transferred to a company that offers dayshift schedules.. Not so fun of a pay but hey.. At least I'm still alive.. I don't have to worry getting to work alive.. I feel the sun on my skin.. I smell the same with the people I get to ride with (before I used to smell fresh.. and the other people riding aren't.. aah the joys of nightshift!)


I'm having fun working.. Workload's very light.. But I'm afraid it gets a bit boring.. We don't get much calls.. But I'm aiming for something bigger.. I promise.. And this time I will make it happen.. 

Living in the Province..

Oryt.. So I have been living here in Montalban for about 3 months now.. And I am still adjusting.. Trying to appreciate life that's a bit distant from the city.. Considering that is where I work..


Well it's not the stereotypical scene where you see cows grazing in the field, roosters tied on one leg scratching the ground, pigs in the pen.. No, not like that.. It's like the city.. Just a bit different..


Like when you need to go out just to buy something.. The nearest store or market will be far that it will have cost you more travelling than the cost of the item itself.. Lols..


I wanted to take a walk one of these days.. And take photos.. Here's one that I took using my phone

Yes sir!!! I pass by this everyday!!! That's why I prefer walking home from our subdivision's entrance rather than taking a tricycle ride because I love looking at the small river and the mountains.. I'll prolly try to get a clearer picture..


For some reason I also have been trying to eat more veggies and root crops.. Not trying to change totaly into a local but.. I just don't know.. Maybe unconsciously my body has decided to eat healthy food.. Before I decided to reinvent myself.. I still eat pork and chicken a lot though..


I'll try to go around the area and see what I can do on my days off.. I have been staying inside my room for the past restdays.. Not planning to do anything.. I forgot I have to reset my goals.. I'll take notes later.. Wish me luck

Darn..

Gahd.. Antagal kong hindi nakapag-blog.. Andami nang nangyare.. Andami kong hindi nai-blog.. Hindi na nasundan yung 30 Day Blog Challenge.. Kainis.. Di bale.. Simulan ko ulet sa March..


So..


Hindi ko tuloy alam kung tungkol saan o para saan tong blog na toh.. Di ko alam kung maglalagay na lang ako ng updates about my life.. The almost 2 months that I have missed to write about.. Things that I have been through.. 


Well for one I am now officially a RURAL PERSON.. I have been denying the fact that I now live in the province.. Even if I am looking at mountains everyday since we moved (Hah!!! I think I can have it as a topic on my next post).. And I'm seeing plants that I have never seen since I started highschool.. I am starting to crave for native sweets like ricecakes.. And the smell of the morning dew.. Iba.. Ibang iba sa amoy ng hangin sa madaling araw di katulad sa kabihasnan.. Lols..


I'm loving my job now.. Not as heavy and as stressful as my previous companies.. As a matter of fact nakakalimutan kong delikado yung byahe ko.. I am preoccupied with that feeling na you always look forward coming in to work.. Kasi masaya ka.. Sa mga kasama mo, sa trabaho mismo.. Sa lahat.. There are some issues every now and then.. Pero minimal lang.. Either madaling ayusin o madaling kalimutan.. Ayun..


I am planning to reinvent.. I need change.. I am creating an atmosphere that will make the most out of me.. An environment that will bring the best in me.. 


I need to read again.. But I don't wanna go E-booking.. I want an actual book.. 


But I need to save up first.. 


I want to cook again..


And this post is starting to become a random thought thingie..


Sayang.. Andami kasi ng nangyari.. Sayang di ko naipost.. Haist..


O basta sa susunod a lang..

Day 09: Of Emotions and Lessons Learned

I cried.. After so long a time I cried.. It was something I never expected to happen.. I was talking.. Then I choked with tears.. I was sobbing.. Trying to speak as clearly as I can..

It did not end up the way we want it to be.. It was not clarified.. We just accepted that it will never be answered.. That everything will only be an enigma.. That piece of puzzle that will never be found.. So many questions..

I have never felt so much for the people that have been close to me.. Not as much as this.. I was.. Oh.. I get it.. I felt so happy with them that I feared losing them.. That's what I felt at that time.. I was so afraid everything will fall into pieces.. That all this will shatter.. So I cried..

I also cried because it was hard to admit that one weakness I was having.. That people will look at me differently once all is revealed.. That they would turn away.. Avoid me from that point on.. Treat me as a stranger.. Someone they never knew.. Or regret ever knowing.. Pretend we never crossed roads..

I don't know what will happen next.. I prolly won't be like what I was when I started.. I don't know.. Those unanswered questions.. What happened earlier.. Will remain in me.. I thought I was just being friendly.. I thought I was helping.. But people thought I was just trying to get attention.. I was named something not so nice.. Although I would have wished some of them courage to stand up.. Not because they wanted to vindicate someone.. But because they knew that a wrong has been done..

I was a bit disappointed.. But the good thing is that I was able to get a glimpse of truth.. They showed who they are.. I was able to know who amongst them can be a true friend.. That no matter what issues we have, we are able to accept each other fully..

I have to go.. I have a lot I wanted to say but I can't find the words.. Today was a bit heavy.. It hit me bigtime..

Day 08: Sunday

So with the 30 Day Blog Challenge that I was able to get online, there was a 3 day vacation hiatus.. The creator was to go on a trip for those 3 days.. So for 3 days I have to make my own ectry.. And I decided to just talk (err... write) about these 3 days.. I actually started yesterday Day 07: My Saturday

I am looking up tutorials on how to do the 1920's makeup.. I was assigned to do makeup and costume for our performers this coming Sunday.. It's the company's Christmas Party and a contest was made, with the theme of broadway musical.. We decided to perform Cabaret, and since I was asked to do the makeup, I had to get inspiration..

It's my first time to do makeup.. And I have never done it before.. So I hope that they will still end up being my friends after the performance.. Teehee..

I was also told yesterday during my former team's christmas party that I will be singing at the wedding.. Not sure which part of the wedding though.. So I am cramming for songs that I can sing.. I even asked a friend (another former teammate who also left the comapny) if we can sing a duet, which she actually agreed.. Way back we used to sing songs together on freetime.. If there's nothing to do at the office.. We had a collection of lyrics and we sometimes sing with blending voices..

I'm also thinking of what to wear on our christmas party.. Prolly the one I wore last year, I've only worn it once.. And it's a waste if I can't wear it again considering I spent a lot for it..

I already have an idea what to wear for my friend's wedding.. I got an inspiration from one of the websites I often visit.. They have cool designs, unfortunately they don't have bigger sizes so I have to recreate it and have it custom made..

Looking forward to tomorrow.. We will be having some discussions to settle some issues.. Something happened last Friday and it affected some of us bigtime.. I am hoping this gets resolved.. Wish us luck...

Day 07: My Saturday

My weekend was great!! I got to be with my former teammates.. I really missed them so much.. Too bad I was not able to take photos of them..

It was the perfect timing.. I was having some 'stress time' with training, and being with was enough for me to get back and smile on my way back to the battlefield..

The moment I stepped in Jayson's house my friends jumped with joy, it was obvious how much we missed each other.. We shared laughs, talked about things, ate, drank.. It's one of the happiest days in my 2011 life!!! I actually imagined that everything is a dream.. That I didn't actually leave them.. That I'd wake up grunting about Monday, having a smoke before logging in, talking about stuff while processing documents.. But then again.. I don't want to go through the stress again.. Just like the last time we went out, they keep on telling me leaving the company was a good move..

They also told me I've lost weight and asked me if I have any secrets in losing weight.. I actually had none.. And I've been noticing for the past few days that some of my clothes have become loose.. I realized you tend to eat less when you're not stressed, which was proven when one of them came late, I said he looked like he gained weight and he said it was because of stress..

I actually plan to lose weight and I'll start by next year once my family have settled to our new home.. I have to buy gears fit for excercise.. Good thing my new company has a gym.. Wish me luck..