Moving Out and Being Independent..

After a long time of being an effin' dependent baby, yes, I'm moving out..
 

Well.. I got kicked out..

It was unfortunate that it had to happen this way, and I regret that I just did it now.. This should have been something that I should have done a long time ago.. And even now I'm starting with scratch.. I have almost nothing.. I AM almost nothing..

I am grateful that I have friends that have offered help in moving on with my life.. I definitely owe them bigtime..

So how does it feel?

I feel free.. Even if at times I can't help thinking about the people that I have left behind.. My sister most of all.. I know that with what I have done I have passed the burden to her..
 

But then again.. I will end up with nothing if I did not decide to do this.. Believe me.. I had to shut my eyes making this decision.. I just have to think that once I decide, there's no turning back.. Some may not understand, but for the people that do, thank you..

I need to live on my own now, I know I can make it.. And with this, I am starting a new chapter of my life.. I will make things happen..

Social Climber..

I will have to admit that at some point of my life I have been one.. Or maybe I still am a social climber.. I have realized that in a world that we call "survival of the fittest", you should know how to choose the people that will help you get on in this jungle-esque life.
Not that I tried to spend extravagantly, or totally try to pretend I am rich.. what I mean is, I tried to 'tweak' some of what I am to be able to adapt to people around me..

It can be hard, to be honest, and at the end of the day I realize.. what do I get from this? I lose myself and I can't go back to what I used to be..

And it gets even harder, and more depressing, when you look at yourself and you don't realize who you're looking at in the mirror..

It's hard.. But it's harder when you feel alone not being able to fit in anyone's world..

Music..

Music..

Music has played a big part in my everyday life.. In almost every waking hour I can't survive without hearing music.. 

When I wake up, I go straight to the shower and take a bath while playing my favorite music.. Upon leaving home I pop my earphones and listen to the radio.. When I'm reading I can't stand silence, so I turn the music on..

It also affects my mood.. I listen to upbeat songs in the morning to jumpstart my day.. Old love songs to relax.. SUUUUUPER oldies or classicals when I need to sleep.. When I feel sad regarding matters of the heart I listen to emo songs..

At work when I get bored I hum random tunes..

When I drink with friends we sing crazy songs and laugh at each other for it..
When I get bored I listen to music..

If music were a real person.. He would have been my bestfriend..

As ABBA's song goes..

Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me..

Really Now?!

Whaddya think?

I've been to relationships here and there.. But I never kept this list the whole time.. Sometimes when I am in deep shit that's when online posts like this would appear.. That's when I remember and realize I had forgotten how relationships work..

It's hard to think of these things.. Let alone practice it.. Especially when you are at a moment when your judgment is clouded with anger, mistrust, etc. And when shit happens, it happens at a moment you wouldn't really anticipate.. And.. Like a broken mirror, crumpled paper, <insert any item than gets broken but can still be fixed>, you can fix it, but it will never be the same.. It's up to you if you will still use it, or decide to create a better one..

I can give good advice, but when I am caught in a situation.. Hell I'm the dumbest and most vulnerable person in love that you'll meet.. Pffttt... I'd definitely need friends to keep me sane..

I've never been lucky when it comes to relationships.. Never been able to handle one properly.. I dunno.. I guess I'm too preoccupied with things.. That I never learned how this should go.. When they say everyone becomes the dumbest person alive when it comes to love, I'd have a hard time believing it.. I have friends that have stayed together since the beginning of time.. And I wonder how they make it work..

How do they make it work? Tell me..

Occurences..

Hello..

It's been a very, very, VERY long time since I last posted here.. A lot had happened.. A lot has changed..


I left the company I was working with when I started this blog.. You guys know that I live in a rural place (LOL) and never did I anticipated the risks when leaving home at so late a time.. I almost got robbed, mugged, harassed.. Name it.. I ALMOST went through it..


So..


I transferred to a company that offers dayshift schedules.. Not so fun of a pay but hey.. At least I'm still alive.. I don't have to worry getting to work alive.. I feel the sun on my skin.. I smell the same with the people I get to ride with (before I used to smell fresh.. and the other people riding aren't.. aah the joys of nightshift!)


I'm having fun working.. Workload's very light.. But I'm afraid it gets a bit boring.. We don't get much calls.. But I'm aiming for something bigger.. I promise.. And this time I will make it happen.. 

Living in the Province..

Oryt.. So I have been living here in Montalban for about 3 months now.. And I am still adjusting.. Trying to appreciate life that's a bit distant from the city.. Considering that is where I work..


Well it's not the stereotypical scene where you see cows grazing in the field, roosters tied on one leg scratching the ground, pigs in the pen.. No, not like that.. It's like the city.. Just a bit different..


Like when you need to go out just to buy something.. The nearest store or market will be far that it will have cost you more travelling than the cost of the item itself.. Lols..


I wanted to take a walk one of these days.. And take photos.. Here's one that I took using my phone

Yes sir!!! I pass by this everyday!!! That's why I prefer walking home from our subdivision's entrance rather than taking a tricycle ride because I love looking at the small river and the mountains.. I'll prolly try to get a clearer picture..


For some reason I also have been trying to eat more veggies and root crops.. Not trying to change totaly into a local but.. I just don't know.. Maybe unconsciously my body has decided to eat healthy food.. Before I decided to reinvent myself.. I still eat pork and chicken a lot though..


I'll try to go around the area and see what I can do on my days off.. I have been staying inside my room for the past restdays.. Not planning to do anything.. I forgot I have to reset my goals.. I'll take notes later.. Wish me luck

Darn..

Gahd.. Antagal kong hindi nakapag-blog.. Andami nang nangyare.. Andami kong hindi nai-blog.. Hindi na nasundan yung 30 Day Blog Challenge.. Kainis.. Di bale.. Simulan ko ulet sa March..


So..


Hindi ko tuloy alam kung tungkol saan o para saan tong blog na toh.. Di ko alam kung maglalagay na lang ako ng updates about my life.. The almost 2 months that I have missed to write about.. Things that I have been through.. 


Well for one I am now officially a RURAL PERSON.. I have been denying the fact that I now live in the province.. Even if I am looking at mountains everyday since we moved (Hah!!! I think I can have it as a topic on my next post).. And I'm seeing plants that I have never seen since I started highschool.. I am starting to crave for native sweets like ricecakes.. And the smell of the morning dew.. Iba.. Ibang iba sa amoy ng hangin sa madaling araw di katulad sa kabihasnan.. Lols..


I'm loving my job now.. Not as heavy and as stressful as my previous companies.. As a matter of fact nakakalimutan kong delikado yung byahe ko.. I am preoccupied with that feeling na you always look forward coming in to work.. Kasi masaya ka.. Sa mga kasama mo, sa trabaho mismo.. Sa lahat.. There are some issues every now and then.. Pero minimal lang.. Either madaling ayusin o madaling kalimutan.. Ayun..


I am planning to reinvent.. I need change.. I am creating an atmosphere that will make the most out of me.. An environment that will bring the best in me.. 


I need to read again.. But I don't wanna go E-booking.. I want an actual book.. 


But I need to save up first.. 


I want to cook again..


And this post is starting to become a random thought thingie..


Sayang.. Andami kasi ng nangyari.. Sayang di ko naipost.. Haist..


O basta sa susunod a lang..